Yeah I know. I feel pretty ashamed of myself. She should have never gotten this old. The lysine contingency should have taken effect by now. Damn that idiot Henry Wu!
I do feel bad because every year since before she was born, I've written a letter to her, telling her about life and what's been going on and what's led up to that point in our lives. Since I'm so forgetful I use LJ and Facebook to remind me of important events, like, Oh, this is the day the pooped on the floor.
But here it is, it's her birthday and I haven't finished the letter yet and I started in the first week of September. Maybe it's because I've been so busy with school, especially midterms (more on that in a minnit), and all of a sudden work, too that I haven't had time to sit down and look at past entries to have time enough to sit down and write anything. I mean... I've written a lot, but I haven't finished. I suppose finishing it before the end of October will be the goal and reminding her what she got from everyone for her birthday this year, all that junk, it'll be good for her to remember (be reminded) whenever it is that I decide to give these letters to her.
Anyways. So about that dropped class.
Like I said, we took midterms. In the middle of the day, I called Liz because I had just gotten done with my Law an Ethics exam. I broke down crying because I knew I had flunked that exam.
Ms. Smith is a great teacher and very interactive with her students. Problem is that her tests are FUCKING HARD. At least they're very hard for me. I can't do verbatim memorization of dates and legal stuff where you have to spell out the whole name of something instead of the abbreviation or giving all or none because you can't get partial credit for a question and it's all fill in the blanks with no matching and no multiple choice.
So yeah, I broke down on the phone. Liz knew I was doing bad in the class, but not HOW bad. I know people are depending on me and that's what bothered me the most.
When I got my grade back, she showed us how to average our grades and as it turned out I'd need to make a 111.7% on the final to pass the course with a C. We have to pass all courses with a C or higher and I wasn't doing it in there. I sat in class for a little while, remembering how all the teachers had said, "A buncha y'all won't be here after midterms," and thinking Maybe them but I'm gonna nail this shit just like I did all my classes last year.
So I got up, walked out, walked to administrations, and withdrew from the class with the intention to reinvest in my other classes, which has still been pretty difficult because I've been going to work and prepping with Liz for Dahlia's party.
I got in the truck that afternoon and told Liz I flunked the midterm and the first thing she said was "Well don't drop the class!"
I knew I was gonna have to tell her but I didn't want to. Lissa convinced me to go ahead and tell her, so at least I'm not hiding anything. I suppose I'll just have to go back and take it again next Fall.